Midnight Consciousness

I’ve learned a few things in my 37 years. Some people won’t like me because I’m me and they’re them, but most think I’m great. No matter how obviously hurtful we are to others, we refuse to apologize because humility appears to be more costly than pride. Enemies and cheaters actually prosper. People too often opt to say “I told you so” to feel superior or knowledgeable when I’m hurting instead of just listening. Friends and family fail themselves quite often, so they have to fail you. It’s not personal, usually. Things happen and it doesn’t always have meaning or lessons attached. I have a right to my anger. I have a right to my joy. At times there are no words. It’s not wise always to trust feelings, but we should feel. We rarely want advice, we want an out. We should love ourselves fiercely. I can still be surprised for better or for worse. Evil is real. Goodness is easy. Freedom ain’t free. Intentions matter. Every now and again, I just need to be at my lowest to appreciate the process of the climb. We are not totally unique, but we are still special. My relationship with myself will be reflected by my relationship with others. Meditation and prayer soothes. I block my intuition with fear. I’m not a victim just because I acknowledge it hurts. Life is hard because we spend most of it not being present. I have a right to peace and justice.

I’m working on my acceptance.